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Reply to "Cognitive dissonance and the black woman"

quote:
Originally posted by detroit1:
This is the bases of my argument. Why doesn't the "want" of many sistas reflect in the men they end up preferring to deal with?
Because they have a hard time finding him.... Many "hopefuls" are already married..... The others have one or the other unacceptable characteristics.... This doesn't mean that they will marry or date no one.... but in terms of what they "want" it really doesn't exist..... so they pick what's available and satisfy their cravings through their fantasies.... flings... or short-lived dates.... a little depressing... yes... but it happens none the less....


quote:
So does this explain why many women prefer to involve themselves with men of non-conformist type characteristics (de-values marriage, family, education, normal employment, etc.)?
I would assume so.... again... a little depressing... yes...

quote:
perhaps....this is a new concept to me; something to ponder on; but it still proves my original argument about the contrast between the complaints and actions of many sistas. Why complain about the lack of educated black men when in actuality, you have contempt for them?
I guess I agree with you.... there is a contrast.... But these sisters don't complain about the lack of educated men.... they are dismayed by the lack of strength, tenacity and staying power of holding the idea of doing for self and striving to create for self... they see in these men... on some level.... too much acceptance not enough drive or will to create not just something better to make life more comfortable... but to put us in our proper place... Rulership.... Radical... yes? But no one wants it... not truly.... in fact most men laugh at the idea.... because in truth they only see and are comfortable with the way things are run now... and with whom is running it.... and don't want to fight like chess players to create something new..... You see in these sessions it always comes out when we began discussing history and how we "used" to be..... and the possibilities of what we could be.....

Again.... its a twisted way to be.... but the psyche of this woman is one that is hurt and disappointed....

Now I haven't discussed my responses.... just their mind set....


quote:
I receive this as being "never satisfied".
Until there is change.... Yep... You are right.... won't be satisfied until they see the fire in the men that they are around..... perhaps later we can talk more about methods of changing this around.....

I'm being sincere here.... I don't necessarily agree with them.... I do understand it though...

Peace,
Virtue
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