quote:Originally posted by tru2urself16:
I've waited to repsond to some of the things posted because I wanted to think about my reasoning for my choice. Now I can't say that my choice has anything to do with religion or thinking that by beinging a virgin I am holy or clean, it's not. I respect people who have different views than mine and I think that it's your own choice and that you have to do what;s right for you. In the past few days I've been thinking about that more and more. That I have to do what's right for me just like they have to do what's right for them.
But the more I think about my choice, the more I am able to respond truthfully. The reason I have decided to stay a virgin is really out of fear. Not the fear of being in a sexual relationship, but the fear of not being cherished. The women in my life have all given it away before marriage and the result has been disasterous for them. My fear is borne of that. I don't want to end up like more than half of the girls I went to high school with. The ones who had dreams and ambition, but are now stuck flipping burgers because they got pregnant and gave up. To me my virginity is something I hold close to my heart. When i give it to whom ever I chose I want...no I need to know that they LOVE ME, not what's between my legs. In my neighborhood girls give themselevs away to freely and then reap the consequences by themseleves. I don't want that. I guess I just figure that if he can wait with me then he can get to know me. So then when I give myself to him he won't take it lightly.
Now that's what I wanted to say. Oh Huey... for me the guy doesn't have to have been a virgin. I like to think that our connection will be much deeper than sex. And the greatest gift that a man could give me is...understanding, cherishing, respect, and thoughfulness(All the things I don't get very much).
You obviously have a good head and heart. There is NOTHING wrong with your reasoning.
Everyone that has responded gave some very good advice.
I learned a very important lesson at a very early age and it helped me to avoid making some bad decisions. The lesson I learned is that TRUE friends accept you for who and what you are. A real friend is not going to "encourage" you to do something that you don't want to do or would cause harm. I wish more young people could learn this and stop making such bad choices due to peer pressure.
So your friends may make fun of you for being a virgin but they shouldn't be pressuring you to compromise your values.
I have a friend who wasn't a virgin but his fiancÃ© was. They were engaged for three years and she was still a virgin when they broke up. He ended it because she wasn't really ready to leave mommy and daddy yet NOT because of her virginity. So there are guys out there that may wait...rare...but they are out there.