quote:Originally posted by Rowe:
Why Are We Still Equating Virginity With Purity???
However, if she ever does decide to activate her sex life, I say, do not subsequently burden yourself down with resentment and regrets. Being a virgin (or not a virgin) does not define who you are as a person. That is why I feel sorry for the woman who feels as if she has somehow lost her very essence after having sex, because Women are much more than what's between our legs, and we have lots more to contribute to our world than our bodies and sex. That is why I am strongly opposed to women identifying too closely with maintaining their virginity, which, in my opinion is an obsolete and chauvinistic sexual imposition placed solely and unfairly upon women. As long as we maintain these antiquated views that tell us being a virgin make us more "righteous," "clean" and/or "holy" than the those who are not, we will continue to fill guilt and shame for enjoying an active sex life. And having an active sex life does NOT have to mean being promiscuous. What makes a person "pure" are their good deeds, integrity, honesty, unselfishness, and enthusiasm for life, NOT whether or not they can abstain from sex for longer periods than others.
I'm not trying to change your religious views, mind you, I'm just sharing my values and perspective as well. It's your life, and so you still must do what is best for you.
Preach it, girl!! This post perfectly sums up why I consciously avoided virgins even I was one at the age of 23. It seems too many ladies tie a state of righeousness or purity to being a virgin, but the idea is not even supported biblically. As Rowe suggested, the real message should be that ladies have much more to offer than their virginity. But I do believe that it is a good thing to do if a person want to do so. I just did not find the idea of a girl being a virgin as well as touting the fact she is one as an ideal woman for me...sounded more like self-righteous boasting. But to each one, his/her own.