Got Jokes?

A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger?"


The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"


"Oh, I don't know" said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.


"OK!", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."


To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama ... when you don't know shit?"


Big Grin
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger?"


The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"


"Oh, I don't know" said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.


"OK!", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."


To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama ... when you don't know shit?"


Big Grin


Big Grin lol laugh 20 Girl, you've just made my week. I'm stealing this joke for work today.
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger?"


The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"


"Oh, I don't know" said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.


"OK!", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."


To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama ... when you don't know shit?"


Big Grin


20 Good one ER! tfro
quote:
Originally posted by EbonyRose:
A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger?"


The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"


"Oh, I don't know" said the stranger. "Since you are a Negro, do you think that So-called President Elect Barack Obama is qualified for the job?" and he smiles.


"OK!", she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."


To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss President Barack Obama ... when you don't know shit?"


Big Grin


on da flo

laughin' my a** off 20

Good one EbonyRose
WARNING: ADULT HUMOR

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

****************************

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. Eek

***********************************

Q What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

******************************


Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

*************************************

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

*************************************

Q. Do you know how New
Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

***************************************

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it!

****************************************

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

****************************************

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

******************************

Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

**********************************

Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?

A. About three inches.

*************************************

Q: What's the
difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

***************************************

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

****************************************


Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

***********************************


Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

**********************************

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

************************************

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

************************************

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when
they get up in the morning?

A . They don't have balls to scratch!
quote:

WARNING: ADULT HUMOR

"Sex Therapy for Seniors"
A Green Valley couple, both well into their 80s, go to
a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual
intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed
that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual
advice, that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's
absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have
intercourse.

He thanks them for coming in, and then wishes

them good luck. He charges them $50.00 and
he says good bye.
The next week, however, the couple returns and asks
the sex therapist to watch again.


The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but again agrees.

This goes on for several weeks in a row.

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no
problems, pays the doctor and then leave.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the
doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask.....Just
what are you trying to find out?'


The old man says, 'We're not trying to find out
anything. She's married - we can't go to her house.
I'm married - we can't go to my house. The holiday Inn
charges $98.00.

The Hilton charges $139.00.

We do it here for $50.00, and I get $43.00 back from Medicare.
***WARNING: ADULT HUMOR***

Garbage Bags


A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic
garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a
while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a
policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out
of your bag.' 'Oh, really? Darn,' says the little old lady. 'I'd better
go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me...'

'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that
money?' 'You didn't steal it, did you?' 'Oh, no,' says the little old
lady. You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium
parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence
into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge
clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I grab
it and I say, ''$20 or off it comes!'' '

'OK, that seems only fair,' laughs the cop. 'So, good luck. Oh, by the
way, what's in the other bag?' 'Well, you know', says the little old
lady, 'not everybody pays.'
quote:
Originally posted by kresge:
quote:

WARNING: ADULT HUMOR

"Sex Therapy for Seniors"
A Green Valley couple, both well into their 80s, go to
a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual
intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed
that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual
advice, that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's
absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have
intercourse.

He thanks them for coming in, and then wishes

them good luck. He charges them $50.00 and
he says good bye.
The next week, however, the couple returns and asks
the sex therapist to watch again.


The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but again agrees.

This goes on for several weeks in a row.

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no
problems, pays the doctor and then leave.
Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the
doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask.....Just
what are you trying to find out?'


The old man says, 'We're not trying to find out
anything. She's married - we can't go to her house.
I'm married - we can't go to my house. The holiday Inn
charges $98.00.

The Hilton charges $139.00.

We do it here for $50.00, and I get $43.00 back from Medicare.


OMG! ek

20

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